When I find myself still up and active at the 4am threshold I begin to think that I may as well just stay up into the next day, as it'd be a shame to wake so late and waste it. But then I remember that I'm 28 now and not eighteen anymore, when staying up was a sport, a conquest, a badge of achievement.
I've had cause to write my age down a couple of times in the last week and more than once I've written '23'. Of course I tell myself that it's an automatic D.O.B. thing but of course, I really wish I was still 23.
I feel in such a whirl now, I'm unanchored. Usually the future is filled with plans but it's so tenuous to me at the moment, I feel a need to pin it all down. My future.
I'd thought of so many things to write about off and on, but put it off as it was so late. Now it's gone four the time seems less relevant, but none of the ideas come back to me, and all I have is a vague blur of unease.
I finished reading Raymond Chandler's The Big Sleep last week never having read Chandler before. Absolutely amazing use of words and language, setting scenes and writing dialogue, it felt like a discovery. Every description a delight, each interaction to be savoured.
And today I continued my dip into the waters of Blaxploitation with Cleopatra Jones. I've enjoyed Truck Turner and Foxy Brown, I was bamboozled by the astructural Sweet Sweetback's Baadassss Song and I've seen the parody I'm Gonna Git You Sucka, but Cleopatra was definitely a weird one.
A curious mixture of amateurish and half decent acting, shooting and set-pieces, it easily had its fair share of enjoyable performances and bizarro moments. A mincing English butler, a weird lank-haired pre-punk apparently English goon, muppet-faced Huggy Bear actor Antonio Fargas doing a decent job as a top level pusher and Shelley Winters hamming her heart out as the nutso Miss Big with lesbian tendencies all join a number of crappy fight scenes and one not-half-bad car chase, all propping up the usual "tough independent black woman takes on the inner city pushers and the corrupt Man" except in this case the woman is a government agent with a classy Corvette, concealed machine guns and the ability to stop the drug trade at its source.
A weird little film but with plenty of touches to make it worth watching.